Varanasi: Where Life and Death Coexist

Few weeks into teaching, the other ELT’s and I agreed that is was much needed to take a break. Thus, we decided to book a trip to Varanasi , aka the 'holiest' city in India.

Varanasi  was AH-MAZING!!! We visited several 'ghats,' they are steps that lead to the Ganges. The Ganges, known to Hindus as the 'Great Mother,' is regarded as a river of salvation. People come to her 'ghats' to pay respect, offer prayer, and cleanse themselves of sin. We got the chance to visit the Manikarnika ghat, aka the burning ghat. That's where people from all over India come to burn/put their loved ones to rest. From the looks of it, that water did not look too pleasing to the eye (in my opinion). Interestingly enough, they have the burning ceremony every single morning (4-6AM). After choosing some wood to carry the deceased, the family wraps the deceased in a cloth/pay their final respects, the priests does his rituals (varies for each caste) and they burn the body. After that (for the rest of the day), people literally bathe in the same water as a way to relinquish their sins.

Mother bathing her child

Unfortunately/fortunately (varies per person), I was not allowed to take any pictures of the funeral process. 

Varanasi  is a holy place for several religions; many of them have temples there. We visited the Tibetan temple for the Dali Lama, the Jainism temple, etc. We also visited the stupa where Buddha has his first sermon and we hiked up the place where Buddha met his first disciples. This place was super-hot but not as humid as Kolkata.

I definitely broke that rule...

Buddha's Stupa--we climbed it!!

The view from the top

In Varanasi, I re-realized that getting lost is part of the experience. The three of us visited several ghats. From the steep flights of steps to the actual town area, you will notice several narrow alleys too narrow for traffic but perfectly sized for a human being and a cow to roam or just stay put. At random we walked through several alleys. Each turn you take through these alleys leads you a live corner filled with people, chai (tea) wallahs (sellers), shop keepers, various smells, and one or two cows. We never felt unsafe because we knew with the help of a few friendly strangers we would be lead back safely.

On our last night, we participated in a beautiful ceremony called Aarti. Every night the people of the city meet at this one place. People sit in canoes or on the steps along the water watching these 7 priests performing religious rituals. This ritual is about preserving life and always keeping God at the center of all that you do. Our activities and daily life revolves around God. Everyone usually buys a candle in a cup with flowers. During the ceremony we're supposed to pray for longevity for our loved ones/friends and then release the candle in the water to flow on the holy water. It's a beautiful sight when you see all the burning candles flowing on the water. It’s is very interesting to see how these people value the circle of life by celebrating death early in the morning, cleansing of sins, then life throughout the day until night. 

My AMAZING dinner that night :) SO GOOD!!!

Great time with the girls! Carolina (left) and Kara (right)

Putting a candle down to bless my family and friends 

Several thousands of people were out in the water for this ceremony

Before I forget---I DROVE a rickshaw!!! One of the great pros to living here in India is the skill of bargaining. Unlike any typical tourist who would take up any price taxi drivers throw at them, my friends and I don’t play. Especially when we know how much cheaper it is for a local to get a ride to and from the same place. Rather than take a taxi (super expensive) we decided to take a rickshaw to the airport (1hr+ drive). Our driver did not know any English at all but during the ride to the airport he stopped to the side and said to each of us, "1 km for you, 1 km for you, and 1 km for you," lol, I seriously thought he was joking. We realized he was serious when he drove to the side and scooted over for us to drive. Never in my life did I plan for this to happen but for a minute I thought YOLO—you only live once— and I decide to go first. This man really taught me how to drive the rickshaw. When I got the hang of it he took his hands off mine and let me drive. It was CRAZY but SO MUCH FUN!!

First Day of School

First Day of School Outfit!!--I'm wearing a 'Sawar Kamis'

**I originally sent this as an email. Since it was a significant part of my experiences, I decided to re-post it on my blog.

My first day of teaching! AAAAHHHH!!!! I was SUPER nervous but God is SO good-- I had a BLAST! 

I TRIED not to overwhelm you with so much to read but...here goes: 

Front of the school--so not a typical school in India

My school is based in the middle of a military base. Thank God for the dry run I did the day before because I got lost twice trying to get to my school--it's so far. I have to take 2 different forms of transportation to get to my school--transportation in India is rough. You either know the streets or you don't. Real talk--there is no such thing as a 'guide' book to understand the bus/auto rickshaws. Nevertheless, I made it on time today (teachers must report by 7:45AM). After the students/teachers performed their morning rituals (prayer, singing of country anthem/school anthem/introduction of the new American teacher by the principal), I began my day by observing my coordinating teacher's class. Altogether, I got to observe two classes and I taught 3 on my own!!! I taught sections (same as grades) 8, 7, and 6. In each class, I have 50 students--I KNOW! The moment, I step into any class, the students sing (GOOD---MORNING MA'AM, HOW ARE YOU?---LOL! so cute!) They sit only after I give them permission. I laid out a few of my rules but I plan to go deep on Friday (why Friday?--I HAVE NO SCHOOL TOMORROW/Thursday  because of a random holiday India celebrates to honor brothers and sisters). In the class I did not really do much, I just wanted to let the students get to know me. Rather than spit out my bio and have them stare at me, I wrote out 7 truths/7 lies about me and they (as a class) had to decide which was true/false. It was funny to see their reactions about which were true/false. After that, I gave them their first assignment, which was to write me an introduction letter. 

When I got home, I read some of my letters and here is a quote from one of my students: 

"Dear Sandy Ma'am (yes, that's what they call me),

My name is ------, a student of class VII. As you are an American citizen and came to India all the way from America to teach us English, all of us are very excited and are respecting you for your kind heart." Most of us can speak English, but the problem is that we need an English speaking society to be more fluent and loud. I am proud to have this opportunity in your class to become more strong in speaking English. I will make my family proud..."  

School Courtyard, where morning assembly takes place

*There are no words to describe how I felt after reading that. The greatest thing was majority of the students spoke this way to me in their letters. Once again, I still can't believe I am here. For sure, all of my days will not be as good as this one (I will not lie, I did have a low moment with section 6) but in the end, I just made the best of it and tried to get though the 40 minutes I had with the students. 

Sigh, I know you're all busy with your everyday lives in the states. But, I really appreciate the time you set aside to at least read this. I not only wanted to give you a piece of my day but to also reemphasize how lucky we are to be in a place of opportunity (U.S). We get so busy we forget sometimes. Yes, my students will have great education at one of the best schools but they have to work X times more against a set of millions of others to get to where they dream to be...

Typical classroom, two students per desk

Petmarket in Kolkata

 In India, there are countless stray dogs that are mistreated, beaten, and neglected. Stray animals are seen as outcasts even to the outcasts--it's ridiculous and sad. Several times in Kolkata, I have seen shop keepers beat a dog just for laying down in front of his store. No doubt, I would have never associated Kolkata, India even to be a 'pet-friendly' place. It took one interesting trip with Fay (ETA) to Kolkata's oldest standing pet market.

In North Kolkata, there is a street called Galiff. Once a week (on a Sunday) this street becomes paradise for  animal lovers. One can either go to look or purchase pets for their homes. At this market we saw anything and everything-- from, dogs, cats, rabbits, chicks, and mice to birds and fish. It was a peculiar but great experience. Below you will see some of my pictures.

Living in Kolkata

Me & our cook, Sujita

Living here in India is definitely an experience. When we arrived to Kolkata from Delhi, USIEF funded for us to live in another very nice hotel until we decided on our living arrangements. Apartment hunting took forever but I think we made the best choice. Year after year, 20+ years now, Fulbrights have been living in our current apartment. When we first got here, we went apartment hunting to see our options but once again this apartment was convenient because of its location to our schools, the nearest metro, and it is located in a safe neighborhood.

Our Living Room

Living wise, one of the Fulbrights, Fay, lives in a guest house with her own landlord while the four (Carolina + Kara + Hunter + Me) of us live in one apartment building, where all Fulbrights have lived. In India, the apartments typically have two bedrooms, small kitchen, and common area (living room). The four of us kind of live together because we all live on the same floor and our apartments connect via the balcony. I share my apartment with Hunter (the only guy). 

Our Kitchen

Our landlord is a cool professor. He lives on the third floor with his family. Sure enough, our landlord decorated each of the apartments to make them ‘homey’ for guests. As part of our rent, Sujita comes 2-3x a week to cook Indian food for us, another woman does our laundry 2x a week, someone else also stops by to clean the whole apartment once a week, and we have 24/7 onsite security. Not bad huh??

*The greatest perk to living with the other Fulbrights is that we are a unit. We can easily relate to one another in times of stress and when we want to share good news about our experiences at our respective schools. 

*Let me not forget: our cook, Sujita is SUPER AMAZING. She makes me practice my Bengali because she doesn't know English andd she has agreed to give me some lessons on cooking Indian/Bengali food---post coming soon!

My Bedroom

My Bathroom

My Own Patio Area
--even though someone washes our clothes, I do wash my own from time to time

First Indian Wedding*

Within my first month here, I went to my FIRST Indian Wedding!!!! The vice-principal of my school invited me to join her and her  husband to their nieces wedding.  It was a way for her to introduce me to a special part of India's culture and it allowed her get to know me. Of course I was honored and super delighted to have such an experience. 

Me and my school Vice-Principal

At the actual wedding, she introduced me to anybody and EVERYBODY in her family--mom, dad, sisters, daughter-in-law, cousins, and so forth. Thank God for my easy going personality because she could not hang with me the whole time. As part of the bride's family, everybody has a role. Thus, I acted as if I was part of the family and helped the bride's uncle (my VP's husband), and sisters greet guests as well as prepare for the rituals. As I helped, many wanted to explain the whole process to help me understand. I definitely appreciated my VP's husband because during the rituals, he sat next to me and fully explained the significance of each ritual as it took place. I much enjoyed my time at this wedding from the beginning to the end (end of today's festivities at least). I just love how their culture is full of intricate traditions!! The actual wedding almost made me want to be Indian--LOL!

Me with the beautiful bride :)

In India, majority of the marriages are arranged. Marriages in India vary between the different regions. I will tell you about a Bengali-Hindu Wedding. There are several rituals in any type of Indian wedding. Indian weddings are so elaborate and full of rich rituals. Thus, I tried to break it down for you to understand the parts of a Bengali-Hindu wedding/marriage.     

*PRE-WEDDING RITUALS

·On the day of marriage, married ladies decorate the bride's hands with the traditional bangles- one pair of red and one pair of white bangles, and feed her a meal of curd and rice, the only meal for the day (CRAZY!). A red and white bangle on any woman in Kolkata signifies that they are married (so, it’s not just the ring that makes it ‘official’).

*MAIN WEDDING RITUALS

· On this day, the bride and groom sit in their own canopy with their side of the family. When the priest arrives, the groom moves to the main canopy where he is met with the priest and the bride’s uncle. Prior to the marriage, the uncle must undergo a series of rituals to signify that he has given the bride’s hand in marriage to the groom. The bride’s uncle not her father gives the bride away. Basically, father should never have to give his daughter away. (pic 3-above)

· Following the 'giving away' ceremony, the bride can finally come in to the altar area. As she comes in, her face is covered with a leaf. When she is finally near the groom, she must walk around the groom in seven complete circles. The significance of that is that they are winded up securely to each other. (pic4,5)

                                             
                                 

· After completing the circles, the bride is lifted up by her male family members. Then, both the bride/groom touch by nose and exchange garlands of flowers. This is one of the first steps they take to accept one another as husband and wife. 

· When garlanding one another the bride and the groom are made to look at each other in front of all the assembled invitees. This exchange of loving glance is to initiate them to be together officially by the society. The whole time, the bride and groom never really 'kiss.' That's considered taboo for some reason. They only get to put their noses together. (pic 6)

·  The bride then takes her place at the wedding altar where the bride’s uncle officially hands her over to the groom and the couple's hands are bound by a series of chants.

· The bride and groom had to sit in front of a sacred fire and chant more mantras (took forever!!) after the priest.This part of the wedding took at least an hour. The whole time, people are enjoying the rituals but taking several breaks to the buffet. There was SO much food!!! (pic 7)

                                    
                                   

·  No Hindu wedding is official without the sindoor!! Following the mantras, the groom applies sindoor, a red powder on his new wife. This is probably one of the most important parts of any Hindu wedding. On the wedding day, the husband must put it on his wife and she is required to continue putting it everyday after. The sindoor  is a symbol of love between a husband and wife, said my principal’s husband. Though, nowadays many woman choose whether they want to wear it. Many choose to wear it everyday until they die and there are others who wear it only during special occasions. (8,9)

*POST-WEDDING RITUALS

· The bride and groom can both finally eat as a married couple!! Unfortunately this bride had one night to party with her family before leaving to Delhi to fulfill the last few rituals with the groom’s family (he's originally from New Delhi).  

· After the couple reaches the groom's house, the final wedding ceremony will take place. This type of ceremony varies by region/family.

· From a random conversation with my staff on weddings, I found that when a son is married, naturally it is expected that him and his new wife move into his parent’s house. One of the teachers told me that she had to forget how she was brought up and learn to be brought up with a new family. It was hard but that’s the custom--ONLY if they live in India. If the son lives in the States or another part of the world post-marriage, they're excused..

Happily married!